Dane - A MacKenzie Novel Page 13

  “Cade,” she said, shaking her head as he folded the scarf length-wise and covered her eyes, tying it securely at the back of her head. “I don’t know—”

  “Ssh, sweetheart. It’s just me. All you have to do is feel.”

  He stood back and just took in the sight of her. Red satin and pale skin—like every man’s wet dream. She was so beautiful. Outspoken and sarcastic and so fucking sexy he could barely draw in a breath when she was near. She wasn’t afraid to go head to head with him if she disagreed about something. And that one sliver of vulnerability that came into her eyes whenever she thought she was disappointing him in some way drove him crazy. It made him want to hunt down her ex-fiance and do bodily harm, because the man had obviously had no idea what a treasure he had. She was Cade’s perfect match in every way—intellectually and sexually—and it scared the hell out of him.

  “Do you know how beautiful you are, Bayleigh?” he asked, skimming his fingers over the smooth skin of her neck and down to toy with the top of the corset that tempted him beyond reason.

  He pushed the satin cups down so her breasts popped free—plump and swollen and ready for his mouth—and his fingers traced around the taut nipples that were drawing tighter and tighter with desire.

  The bare folds of her pussy glistened with desire and he couldn’t help but lean down and kiss the creamy lips, tonguing the sensitive bud gently over and over again. He held her hips still as she began to writhe against him, searching for more, and he dipped his tongue lower, slipping into the quivering depths of her pussy as her sweet cream exploded against his tongue.

  “Oh, God. Please,” she begged. “I’m so close.”

  “I know,” he said, the satisfaction evident in his voice. He blew cool air across her heated skin and watched her flesh pebble. “The good things in life are worth waiting for, baby.”

  He moved up her body to the trembling mounds of her breasts, laving his tongue across the turgid peak of her nipple and sucking it deep. Her hands went to his head, pulling him closer, but he gathered her wrists with one hand and held her down, wanting to give her everything he could before he lost control.

  His other hand moved back down to the drenched folds of her pussy, and he slid two fingers inside of her, reveling in the sound of his name falling from her lips as she adjusted to his invasion.

  “Come for me, baby,” he whispered, biting down on her nipple with enough pressure that he felt her tighten around him.

  She liked that edge of pain. Almost needed it to get off. He curved his fingers up slightly so they pressed against the most sensitive spot inside of her and she dissolved like liquid pleasure all around him.

  “Cade,” she moaned, fighting against the hold he had on her hands as she thrust against his fingers. She came apart in his arms, her whole body one sensitized nerve ending, as she soaked his fingers with her release. A light sheen of sweat coated her body as she came down from the tremors of her orgasm, and her breath hitched as he pulled out of her.

  “Please, Cade. I need you.”

  Her voice shook as if she were on the brink of tears, and he had to fight the need to pull her close and not push her any further. He needed her to understand this side of him, but he couldn’t afford to lose himself inside her. It was a shaky tightrope he was walking. Demanding all and not giving too much.

  “You’ll get me, sweetheart.”

  He cleared all of the pillows from her bed and lifted her gently, pulling back the white down comforter so it fell to the floor. The drawer of her nightstand held exactly what he’d been looking for, and her hands automatically went to the blindfold when she heard him rummaging around inside.

  “Don’t touch it,” he commanded. “This all stops the minute you remove that blindfold.”

  “That’s not fair, Cade. I want to see you. I want to touch you too.”

  “Not tonight, baby. Every inch of you is mine. Any and every way I want you.”

  She hesitated before nodding once and lied back down in the center of the bed. Cade unhooked the garters from her hose and pulled the silk thigh-highs from her legs, using the stockings to bind her wrists to the curved iron of her headboard. There was still plenty of give in the stockings so he’d be able to move her around as needed.

  “I’m going to turn you over,” he whispered, kissing her hip before rolling her to her stomach.

  His own control was slipping, to the point that his body shook with the effort to hold back the severity of his need. His cock had never been so hard, and it stood out from his body, thickly veined and throbbing for another release. He made quick work of the row of tiny hooks down her spine, and the corset fell away, leaving her in nothing but the red lace garter belt, framing her ass and making his mouth water.

  He lifted her and tossed the corset to the floor before moving between her legs, kissing and licking his way down her spine, his fingers plucking at her nipples as she tried to move against him.

  Sweat coated his skin and his muscles trembled with need. The game was over. He couldn’t wait any longer. Not if he wanted to survive. He grabbed two of the pillows he’d thrown to the floor and put them beneath her stomach, so her ass was put on display.

  “God, baby. You’re so wet for me.”

  His fingers dipped inside of her, gathering her moisture before bringing it up to the virgin hole of her rear entrance. She whimpered as his finger slid easily inside, and she pushed against him as he began to stretch her, adding another finger to the first.

  He couldn’t resist her weeping pussy, and he laid on his back, keeping his fingers in her ass, as he tongued the moist folds, sucking and nibbling, his fingers working in and out of her back entrance as she rode his face with abandon. He could tell she was just on the edge of orgasm and he pulled his fingers free and moved from beneath her.

  “Cade,” she yelled. “Please don’t stop. Don’t—”

  Her sobs of need pushed him to the breaking point, and he grabbed the vibrator she kept in her drawer and the tube of lubricant he’d also found. He spread her thighs and pushed the thick device into the weeping depths of her pussy all the way to the hilt. She gasped, her breaths ceasing, at the invasion, but she took it in easily.

  “Fuck, that’s sexy,” Cade said, turning on the device to the lowest setting, just enough to push her closer to the edge. Not drive her over.

  He squeezed the tube of lubricant directly into her back hole, massaging and working it inside until she was pushing against him, eager for his touch.

  “Take a deep breath and relax, baby. Open yourself and push against me.”

  Sweat popped out on his brow and his teeth clenched in restraint as he pushed the swollen head of his cock past the tight ring of muscle inside her anus. Her hands clawed at the mattress, and mewls of pleasure escaped from her lips even as she cried out from the sharp edge of pain.

  He worked himself inside her slowly, giving her time to adjust before pulling out and pushing back in again. Come boiled in his balls and his muscles quivered as he lost that last edge of sanity, the last bit of control he had, and plunged inside her to the hilt, his balls slapping against her ass. He didn’t take time to gasp for breath but just started moving without restraint, his control shot to hell.

  Her screams of pleasure spurred him on as he felt for the button on the vibrator that would kick it up a notch. He could feel the vibrations tickling his cock against the thin wall between her pussy and rectum, and he knew there was no way he could hold back any longer. He grabbed her hips and slammed inside her over and over again, his head thrown back and his body a machine.

  “Fuck,” he yelled as he felt her tighten around his cock, her orgasm strangling him until he thought his cock would be bruised from the pressure.

  “Cade—Cade,” she screamed. “I love you—”

  Her words had his body stiffening, but it was already too late. It was as if he’d been waiting for her declaration, and his orgasm didn’t start in any one place and roll through his body like the orgasms he
’d had before. He shouted as his release exploded through him with a flash of light and pain and yearning, and he filled her ass with stream after stream of come, until he was just a husk of what he had been.

  He collapsed on top of her, noticing she was out completely, her body so overwhelmed from the pleasure that she’d had no choice but to escape in a faint. He pulled out of her slowly and turned off the vibrator before pulling it from her and placing it on the nightstand. He barely had the energy to get up and shower quickly before coming back out and grabbing the comforter he’d thrown to the floor. Exhaustion crept over him as he pulled her into his arms and curled around her in sleep.

  Sleep was just about to claim him when she rolled over in his arms, her eyes wide and shadowed, her skin cool to the touch.

  “I meant what I said, Cade. I love you.”

  Pain reached up and vised around his heart until it was difficult to breathe. “I know you think you do,” he said. “But I told you this is all there could ever be between us. Love isn’t worth it, sweetheart. No matter how much you think you need or want it. Real love is painful. And it doesn’t last forever.”

  He closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at the myriad of emotions that crossed her face—compassion, disappointment, pity. She made him feel as if he was the one in the wrong.

  “Tell me about her,” she whispered, stroking his face softly. “The one you lost.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Bayleigh’s heart felt as if it were shattering into a million pieces. She knew going in that he would be the one man who’d make her risk everything—give everything. And with the way he’d just commanded her body and filled her to the point of breaking, he’d accomplished her greatest fear. She belonged to him mind, body and soul. But he didn’t want her. Not really. Not when it counted.

  His body had stiffened against hers at the mention of his dead lover, and he closed his eyes against the pain. She ached for him even as she wanted to push him away, but she couldn’t put her love for him away just because he didn’t return it. She loved him with everything she was, and what she felt for him didn’t hold a candle to what she’d felt for Paul.

  She knew Cade cared for her. He’d taken the time to get to know her quirks and her temper. He’d engaged her mind, and had spent time with her outside of the bedroom. And the way he looked at her when he was buried deep inside of her, as if she were the only woman in existence. That seed of affection was there. Maybe he was too scared to love. She couldn’t give up on him yet. Not if she really loved him.

  “You loved her?” she asked, brushing the hair back from his face gently.

  “Yeah,” he said, meeting her gaze directly, the stark pain of memories showing in the harsh lines of his face. “I loved her.”

  She soothed him as best she could, her hands stroking his cooling flesh, wishing she could bear part of his burden.

  “Carmen was—” he cleared his throat once and swallowed back the emotion. “She was the one bright spot in my life during the three years of hell I spent under Miguel’s command. I knew about her before going undercover, and I’d planned from the beginning to seduce her and use her for information.” Cade laughed bitterly. “But those thoughts didn’t last long once I got to know her. She hated her father. Hated what he was doing, and she wanted to see him taken down. It took me three days to fall head over heels in love with her. It was one of those moments in time that just freezes in the brain—as if when I saw her everything went in slow motion and I just knew. I’d never been in love before, but I knew that she was it for me.”

  Bayleigh’s heart clenched at his idea that he could only love like that once, but she stayed silent.

  “I told you before the kind of person I had to be to survive in the cartel. There’s so much blood on my hands, Bayleigh,” he said, bringing them up in front of his face, turning them over as if he could actually see the blood there. “I’d come back from job after job, each one just another fucking test that Miguel would make me do, and Carmen would be there. She’d know what I’d just done, and she’d take me into her arms anyway. Help me forget.”

  “I’m glad she was there for you,” Bayleigh said softly. “I’m glad you had the comfort she gave.”

  Cade’s hand tightened on her back and she cuddled closer.

  “What happened to her?”

  His sigh was so full of sorrow she almost wished she could take the question back. Almost. She needed to hear it all. And he needed to say it.

  “I still don’t know what happened completely. Someone betrayed me, and my brother, Declan, has been looking into it quietly, but whoever the mole was, he’s buried deep and Dec hasn’t found him yet.”

  “Whoever betrayed me told Miguel I was working undercover, and he also found out Carmen was feeding me information to turn over to the DEA. Miguel had us dragged out of bed in the middle of the night. They beat us both, and I was shot when I tried to protect her.” His voice was cold and emotionless now, as if the memory were too much for him to bear. “One of Miguel’s soldiers raped Carmen as they held me down. There was nothing I could do but watch.”

  His voice went hoarse and Bayleigh felt the tears as they ran down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Cade.”

  She didn’t want to hear anymore, but he didn’t seem to be able to stop now that he’d started talking.

  “Those same soldiers dragged us to the warehouse we used to hold shipments before they went out to the distributers. I knew we were going to die then. I’d been a part of the cartel too long. The warehouse was where we took anyone who needed to be disposed of. There were drains in the floor, so it was easy to clean up the messes,” he said hollowly. “Carmen didn’t know that, but I did. They’d kill us both and I was powerless to stop them. In the end it was Miguel who pulled the trigger. He looked me right in the eyes as he killed his only daughter—not an ounce of remorse in his eyes.”

  Bayleigh swallowed painfully, her heart breaking for him. “How did you get out?”

  “My brother,” he said, the hint of a smile softening his face. “Declan knew something was wrong when the shipment drop schedule was changed. He and I have been working together a long time. Your brother was there too.”

  “Which brother?” She thought quickly and realized that was probably a stupid question. There would be no reason for a Navy SEAL to be working a job stateside. And then she thought about what he’d just admitted. “You know Brant?”

  “Mmm,” he acknowledged, playing with the ends of her hair. “We went to college together.”

  “You do realize that at some point in the future when I have the energy, I’m going to be irritated by this information?”

  “I’d expect nothing less.”

  Bayleigh leaned up and took his face between her hands, seeing the surprise that came into his eyes as she kissed him softly on the lips. She felt the prick of tears once more as she saw the way he blanked his face, as if he couldn’t deal with any more emotion.

  “I’m so sorry for what he did to her,” she said. “And I’m glad that you had the chance to experience the love that so many people never do. I know exactly the feeling you described. That moment where your life changes in an instant. Because it’s how I felt when I met you. I love you, Cade.”

  His eyes filled with pain and sorrow and regret, and he shook his head, she was sure getting ready to deny that those were her true feelings.

  “You don’t have to say it back.” She put her fingers across his lips to keep him from speaking. “All you need to know is that it’s there if you want it. When you need it. I’ve had a relationship where there was nothing but accusations and hard words, where there was no respect. I know the difference now, and I know I can never settle for anything less. Paul didn’t make me less because I wasn’t what he needed. But you have made me more, Cade. And I’ll always love you for that alone.”

  “I wish—” he said, moving her hand and pulling her closer so she leaned over him, her hair curtaining their faces. “I wish I
could give you more. But I just can’t go through that again. Love hurts, Bayleigh. That’s what the Hallmark Channel doesn’t tell anyone. It hurts like nothing else in this world. I can care for you. I do care for you. But I just don’t think I can let myself take the chance again.”

  She knew he wouldn’t be pushed. This was something he was going to have to figure out on his own. All she could do was love him in every way she knew how. She crawled over him so her legs straddled his hips, and she leaned down to kiss him again.

  “It’s okay, Cade,” she whispered. “You don’t have to explain. Just let me love you.”

  He was already hot and hard beneath her, his cock nudging at her swollen folds as she kissed him deeper, her mouth sucking and stroking his tongue with slow, sensual motions. She rocked against him slowly, teasing herself every time his cock pressed against the taut bud of her clit.

  “God, Bayleigh,” he groaned, his voice tortured.

  “Just let me love you,” she said again before she sank down on him to the hilt in one smooth motion.

  They moaned in tandem and she placed her knees securely on either side of him as she sat back so the penetration was deeper. He nudged at her cervix and she pressed down harder to feel the sensation again, squeezing and relaxing her muscles around him, but not letting him move inside of her as he wanted to do.

  “You’re killing me, baby.”

  His eyes were only half open, so black she could almost see herself in their depths, and his breathing was labored. His fingers bit into her hips, but she didn’t mind the pain. This was a gift she could give him. Her love. Her need.

  Her hands trailed over his chest, the ridged muscles jumping beneath her touch, and then they continued on, up her thighs and belly to her aching breasts. He watched her every movement, and sweat popped out on his brow as she took her nipples between her fingers and plucked them to hard points.