Sins and Scarlet Lace Read online

  “I’ve been dying to kiss you,” he said, surprising her with his bluntness. “I realized last night that I haven’t really kissed you in ten years and a handful of months, and it didn’t really count when I kissed you in the car. That kiss was partly from frustration and partly from anger and not the kind of kiss you deserved. Will you let me kiss you?”

  She took a step closer and his heartbeat raced as her hands pressed against his chest. “I won’t let you break my heart again, Dec. I don’t know what’s happening here between us or if either of us has the power to stop it, but the longer I stay with you the harder it’s going to make things for me. I decided the day I asked Kane for a divorce that I was only going to do what was in my best interest in the future, and then I ended up not going through with it out of fear.”

  “I’m not afraid anymore. Not of whoever wants that money or that look in your eyes that tells me I’m not going to escape whatever’s happening between us unscathed. I no longer have illusions of marriage or children. I just want to settle down in a normal life with a job, if I still have one after this. And when it comes down to it, I’m not sure that you’re in my best interest.”

  “What about friends? Lovers? Will being alone make you happy?”

  “I can’t say as having friends or lovers has really made me very happy up till now. Maybe I’ll meet a few friends along the way. Maybe I’ll have lovers. But it’ll be my choice either way. Choice is something I’ve had very little of over the years.”

  Declan brought his hands up slowly, giving her plenty of time to back away. He wanted to touch her so badly, to spend hours caressing every inch of her body before burying himself inside her. His hands rested on her hips and he brought her closer, so she had to move her hands to his shoulders as her breasts pressed against his chest.

  “I guess as long as you choose me we won’t have a problem,” he said, the corner of his mouth tipping up in a smile. “I’m not going to let you go this time without a fight. And I know I’ve got a long way to go for you to trust me as you once did. Sending you away was the hardest thing I’ve ever done—and I’ve made a lot of hard decisions over the years—the kind of decisions that cost lives if I wasn’t careful.”

  She sighed and he felt her regret whisper across his lips. Her mouth was just too tempting to ignore any longer, and his head dipped down. His mouth skimmed over hers, as soft as air. Even their first kiss hadn’t been so gentle. Maybe it should have been.

  Her lips trembled and he drank in her sigh just before his tongue slipped inside—a slow sinuous mating that had her nails biting into his shoulders. The pain had never felt so sweet. He didn’t know how long they kissed or if anyone noticed they were there. He didn’t care. He just knew he had to make this woman love him again. She’d done it before, so it was possible she could do it again.

  When he backed away her eyes fluttered open, dazed, and she trembled beneath his fingers. He didn’t know if the thudding in his chest was from her heart or his, and he didn’t suppose it mattered. He hadn’t realized until just now how meaningless his life had been without having her to share it with.

  The crunch of tires over the gravel in the road had him reaching for the gun at his back and had him pushing Sophia behind him so she was protected. He held the weapon down at his side until the car came into view, and the he let out a groan as a black Bronco came into view and the sirens were flipped on in earsplitting woops.

  The door opened and black boots stepped out onto the road, and Dec sighed and put his gun away, as the man stood and faced them with hands on hips and a scowl dark enough to frighten anyone who didn’t know his bark was worse than his bite.

  “Well, well, well,” he said. “Looks like I’ve found a troublemaker. Do you know what the fine is for public indecency?”

  “You should remember well enough,” Dec said. “I believe that was you who got the ticket for that misdemeanor when you were nineteen and caught out by the lake skinny dipping with Jenny Johnson.”

  Cooper MacKenzie grinned rakishly and ran fingers through his black hair. “Don’t tell my wife about that one. I don’t think she’s heard that story.”

  Dec let out an amused laugh. “Are you kidding me? You made the newspaper, of course she knows. But she somehow decided to marry you anyway.”

  “I have other qualities.”

  “I’m sure you really think that.” Dec reached out for Sophia’s hand and pulled her closer to his side. “Why are you here busting my balls instead of rescuing kittens from trees and helping old ladies cross the road?”

  “I’m just thorough like that, I guess. But maybe you want to tell me why I have active duty Navy SEALS setting up a perimeter around my town?”

  “Damn, I’m going to have to tell Shane he’s losing his touch if you spotted them that easily.”

  Cooper narrowed his eyes. “I was a Ranger, asshole. I can spot a SEAL trying to move in on my territory from a mile away. So why don’t you follow me to the house and tell me what the hell is going on? You’re probably just in time for dinner. It’s Thomas and Cat’s night to host, thank God, so you know you’ll be getting an excellent meal.”

  Dec nodded and let go of Sophia’s hand so she could go back to her side of the car. “If Cat is cooking then we accept the invitation. Will there be room at the table? If you guys don’t stop having kids you’re going to have to buy a cafeteria so everyone can sit down in one room.”

  “Don’t blame me. I only have two, and that’s more than enough to keep us busy.” Cooper finally looked over at Sophia and smiled. “I’m glad to see my cousin has stopped being a dumbass. It’s good to see you again, Sophia, though I don’t know if you remember me. I’m Cooper MacKenzie.”

  “I remember now,” she said, giving him a small smile back. “Your mother called you the troublemaker.”

  “It’s because I’m her favorite,” he laughed. “You should hear what she calls my brothers. See you two at the house. Try not to get sidetracked in each others’ mouths on the way.”

  Declan flipped him the bird, but he was smiling as he drove the rest of the way down the hill into Surrender. It was good to be home.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Sophia felt as if she’d fallen into a rabbit hole as they made their way through the town. Declan waved at a few townspeople as they passed by.

  “We won’t stay long,” he said, turning left on one of the one-lane roads just past the town. “I know you’re tired, but this is a good chance to fill everyone in at the same time and let them know I want them to increase their own security.”

  “You don’t need to drag them into this, Dec.”

  “That’s the thing about this family, sweetheart. I don’t have to drag them anywhere. They’ll be there whether I want them to or not. And they’ll do it for you too just because I love you.”

  “You shouldn’t say things like that.” She looked out the window as they drove past miles of white rail fences.

  “I figure if I say it enough then you’ll start to believe me again.”

  “Sometimes love isn’t enough. We’ve both changed over ten years, and I need something a hell of a lot more than your love. I need to be able to trust you again. To count on you when the times get tough. And I just can’t do that.”

  Dec turned onto another road that cut into the rail fence, and Sophia caught her breath as she realized it was a long driveway that went on for more than half a mile. Trees lined each side of the drive all the way down and a tire swing hung from one of them. Horses roamed freely in the pasture to the side and the sunlight glanced off the big lake at the back of the property.

  The house itself was a mismatch of stone and wood, and it looked as if rooms had been added as the space was needed. It was long and stood a full two stories with a wide porch that surrounded it on all sides. It looked like they were adding on some more at one end of the house, and as they got closer she saw the sign that said Dr. MacKenzie’s Office and a sign that pointed to patient parking.

 
; “This house used to belong to my aunt and uncle—my dad’s older brother,” Dec said. “When they died my cousins were all still fairly young. Cooper had just gotten out of the military, and Dane and Riley were both in college, but Thomas, the youngest was still in high school. So they all lived here together until Thomas went away to medical school. He took over as the town doctor almost ten years ago and he uses one end of the house for his practice. As you can see by the size, business is booming.”

  “There are a lot of cars,” she said, trying to count the haphazardly parked vehicles in front of the house. “How does he have time to see all the patients?”

  Dec laughed and pulled in next to a bright red SUV that belonged to his cousin Dane. “All the patients are gone for the day. These cars all belong to MacKenzies. I told you there were a lot of us. Come on, I’ll walk you around the lake a bit and show you the land before you have to face everyone. You’re the only woman I’ve ever brought home, and everyone knows about you from before, so you can expect the ladies to be curious. And they won’t be subtle about it. I’m not sure the word MacKenzie and subtle are two that go together.”

  Sophia let Declan take her hand and lead her past the house and down to the lake. She wasn’t sure how she felt about being put under the microscope for all MacKenzies to see, but she could admit her own curiosity about his family. She’d never gotten to see Declan in that kind of environment when they were together before, how he interacted with his family and how they interacted with him.

  “You see that house there?” he said, pointing directly across the lake. “That’s my parents’ house. My dad was the youngest, so this house we’re at now is actually the original MacKenzie homestead. The main structure dates back to the early 1800s. And every generation has added something new as the family expanded. When my parents married they built that house across the lake. The design mirrors the original structure here exactly, and then they expanded it so it would hold five children and all their friends. My cousins have all stayed close. They each have homes on this property. My parents are gone on another of their world travels. They only spend time here now when they know the whole family is going to be around.”

  She didn’t interrupt or ask questions as he talked about his family. He might not realize it yet, but he missed them more than he thought. The sadness in his voice was unmistakable, and she got the impression that he was tired of living the life he’d chosen. If he didn’t slow down and find something to balance out the horror he dealt with on a daily basis he was going to crash and burn.

  “Thomas is married to Cat,” he continued. “And they live in this house with their four children, so you can see the need for that extra wing they’re building. Cat has some useful skills from her former life, so she does the occasional contract work for MacKenzie Security, but only the jobs where I know she won’t be in danger.”

  “You saw Charlie’s Automotive on the way in, and that shop belongs to my cousin Dane’s wife. She’s about forty-two months pregnant right now with their fourth child though so she’s not able to get under the hood, and she’s cranky about it because Dane is making her stay home until the baby is born. I think he’s probably sleeping on the couch a lot these days.”

  “I can’t say I blame her. She’s probably going crazy without anything to do.” Though the thought of a hugely pregnant woman trying to maneuver her way under the hood was amusing.

  “Hunh,” he said. “I’m sure we’ll get to hear all about it at dinner. There are so many pregnant women in this family at one time or another it’s hard to keep track. We like big families.”

  “And sex, apparently,” she said dryly.

  His lips quirked and she realized how rare this playful side of Declan was. “That goes without saying. Then there’s my other cousin Riley and his wife and their three kids. He’s a professor at one of the private colleges a couple of hours from here. And you met Cooper already. His wife’s name is Claire and she’s the librarian here in Surrender. My brother Grant and his wife and kids will be here too.”

  “I remember meeting him before. He’s the quiet one and has those serious brown eyes. You and Cooper look like you should be brothers instead.”

  “We get that a lot. Me and Cooper and Cade and Darcy all take after the MacKenzie side in coloring. We’ve got a picture in the house of my great-great grandfather who looks so much like Cade that it’s eerie. Blood is a weird thing.”

  He changed their direction and led her back in the direction of the house. She hadn’t realized how far they’d walked, and the smells coming from the house made her mouth water. It had been a long time since she’d had a home cooked family meal, not since before her mother had died.

  “It’s beautiful,” she said. “What you’ve all made here. And you probably don’t realize how lucky you are to have this to come home to, or to have that built in support system. I can’t tell you how many times over the last several years I wished my parents were still alive or that I’d been lucky enough to have brothers and sisters to call once everything started spiraling.”

  “You called me,” he said softly.

  The laugh that escaped her lips was sardonic, and she looked out over the lake as the sun started to set. “I guess that should tell you just how desperate I was.”

  “I would’ve been there whether you’d called me or not,” he said, taking her hand so she couldn’t keep walking. “I bloodied more than one lip and blackened more than one eye when I found out they were bringing you in, and I did the only thing I could do to make sure they kept me in the loop and didn’t push me out completely. You have to believe that, Soph. I would never leave you stranded that way, without someone in your corner to fight on your behalf.”

  She let out the breath she’d been holding slowly. “It didn’t feel that way at the time, that’s for sure. But you’re still here trying to take over my life, so maybe you’re being honest with me.”

  “There’s another reason why you called me instead of an attorney or anyone else who might have been able to help you.”

  “Because I’m a glutton for punishment?”

  “No,” he said, bringing her hand to his lips and kissing the palm softly, making her heart turn over in her chest. “Because even though we’ve had our struggles and I was an idiot for doing what I thought was right by sending you away, you realized something when your back was against the wall.” His gaze followed to her lips where she was biting down nervously. “You realized, that despite everything, I’m your family too.”

  And then she stopped breathing altogether as his lips came down on hers. Fire rushed beneath her skin and bombs exploded in her head. His hunger took her by surprise, and she realized just how much he’d been holding back during their exploits. There were no handcuffs strong enough to restrain this man when his need was so fierce.

  She ached to the depths of her soul for this man—only for him. His arms circled her waist and he pulled her close, so his erection pressed against her belly, and his lips slanted over hers as his tongue invaded her mouth. Heat surrounded her, enflamed her, and she gave back as good as he was giving, sucking on his tongue until she felt his harsh growl rumble in his throat.

  How had she ever thought she’d escape Declan MacKenzie with her whole heart? The games they’d been playing where she’d had the illusion of control weren’t going to work anymore. She needed him hot and hard inside of her, dominating her and taking her the way he had so many years before. His mouth had satisfied her but it hadn’t quenched the fire of her desire.

  The consequences would have to be dealt with later, and she hoped spending another night in Declan’s bed would make up for the heartbreak he was sure to give her again before their time together was through.

  “Hey, Kissyface,” Cooper called out from the back porch. “Dinner’s ready.”

  Sophia didn’t think she’d ever laughed during a kiss before, but when they pulled apart they were having trouble holding it together.

  “Maybe you can get Darc
y to put itching powder in his jock strap,” she suggested.

  “Oh, she did something much better to him than itching powder. Being the only girl and the youngest in a family of nine boys makes you more imaginative than the average eight year old girl.”

  “Maybe I need to get some tips from her on how to handle MacKenzie men.”

  “I shudder to think,” he said, wrapping his arm around her waist. “Besides, I’ll let you handle me any time you want to. All you have to do is ask.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Dinner with the MacKenzies was like nothing she’d ever experienced before. The house was just as sprawling on the inside as it was on the outside, and it was obvious the large dining room was one of the newer additions to the house.

  The large cherry wood table sat twenty-four, and every seat was taken. The older kids were too cool to sit with the adults, so they’d been banished to the sun porch at the large table out there. The smaller kids sat in booster seats or high chairs between their parents, and Dec had been right, there were enough kids in the room that the MacKenzie women probably spent a lot of time pregnant. But if the rest of the men in the family were anything like Declan in bed, it probably wasn’t such a hardship to keep trying.

  She’d once thought of having children with Declan, maybe a few years after she graduated college so they’d have time to spend some alone time together first. But she hadn’t thought of bringing a child into the world since before her wedding night, and after she’d married Kane she’d made sure she got her birth control shot every three months like clockwork because she couldn’t have imagined bringing a child into that situation.

  But that once forgotten longing swept over her as she sat at the center of the table next to Declan. Dane sat across from her and she watched as he took turns rubbing his very pregnant wife’s back and cutting up meat for the toddler sitting next to him. Riley sat to her left and held a sleeping baby of only a few months on his shoulder while he talked baseball with Cooper sitting across from him.