Secrets and Satin: A MacKenzie Novel (Romantic Suspense) (MacKenzie Family) Read online

  Max watched from the corner of his eye as Jade got her hands free, and he moved closer to Vassin, hoping he could get close enough to disarm him. The sounds of fighting echoed in his ear, and he knew if wouldn’t be long before Vassin realized something was wrong. And then he’d start taking out whoever was closest.

  Even as he had the thought the lights went out and they were thrown into complete darkness. A piercing alarm sounded, and Max immediately hit the ground and began rolling as Vassin started firing into the darkness. His only thought was to get to Jade. He’d pinpointed Vassin’s location and was about to pounce when the lights came back on as suddenly as they’d gone off.

  It took a second for his eyes to adjust, and that second almost cost him his life. He heard Jade’s scream of warning from his left just as Vassin brought the gun up, and he swore the time between when the gunshot sounded and when a hundred and thirty pound dynamo smacked into his side, taking him to the ground with her momentum, was almost simultaneous.

  His arms came around her as they hit the ground, and his biggest fear was that she’d just taken the bullet that had been meant for him. He rolled with her and put her body protectively beneath him as the door was kicked open and more shots were fired. Max didn’t bother to watch the red bloom on the front of Vassin’s shirt, and he didn’t bother to watch as Declan followed up on his shot with another for insurance.

  His hands immediately went to the woman beneath him, checking her body for the bullet hole he knew he’d find. Panic ripped at him, and the rush of blood in his ears drowned out all other noise. But finally he realized she was speaking to him, and that there was no blood.

  “This seems like a bad time to cop a feel,” she said. “I’ve never been much of an exhibitionist.”

  Max dropped his forehead to hers and tried to slow his racing heart. “Don’t you ever do that again. You scared the hell out of me.”

  “Hey,” she said, taking his face between her hands and forcing him to look into her eyes. “I was watching your back. That’s what partners do. You’re one of the good guys. I couldn’t let anything happen to you.”

  “You’re one of the good guys too, Jade Jax. But if you ever pull a stunt like that again those spankings you got before are going to seem like child’s play.”

  “There you go making promises again,” she said.

  He was laughing as he kissed her.

  “Should we leave?” Cade asked. “I could be wrong, but I don’t remember make out sessions being part of the ops, though I wouldn’t mind hearing more about the spankings. That sounds intriguing.”

  “I believe you had plenty of make out sessions with your wife during that del Fuego mission,” Dec said. “But I can see how this could give a bad name to my agency. Maybe if you two are finished we can get the hell out of here and call this in for cleanup. Shane just radioed in and said the senator’s daughter is secure. We can debrief later.”

  “Much later,” Max said.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Jade wasn’t surprised to see a very irritated Max standing on her doorstep two days later. They’d flown back to Texas together, but as soon as Declan had debriefed the team, she’d snuck away like a thief in the night and flown back to D.C. with Declan. She’d been trying to make it a clean break. End of mission. End of their affair.

  They didn’t have a future together. He needed someone who could pass on the Devlin name, someone who could give him more than she ever could. And she needed—no, it was best not to think about what she needed. Those answers hurt too badly. She was doing what was best in the long run. Now she just had to make Max understand it.

  But him standing in front of her looking rumpled and sexy was more than she could resist.

  “You couldn’t possibly think I’d just let you go,” he said, pushing past her into the apartment.

  She let out a little sigh and wondered what to say. What to do. “No, but I had hoped maybe you would. For both our sakes. You’re making this too hard, Max. Why do you have to be so damned stubborn?”

  His smile was a vicious slash of white, and she swallowed at the determination she saw there. No, he wasn’t going to make this easy.

  “I guess you’re just lucky that way.” She didn’t try to move away from him as he came closer, his body heat enveloping her like a caress. He touched the side of her face and lowered his head so their foreheads touched. “I thought I’d lost you. Nothing in my life has ever been that terrifying.”

  She closed her eyes and soaked up the comfort he was offering, touching her hands to his chest to offer her own. “It scared me too,” she admitted. “I thought of you. It’s what made me fight to get there in time. I wanted to be able to touch you again. To taste you just one more time.”

  “And yet you ran away,” he whispered against her cheek.

  “Yes,” she said. “Because I had to see if I was strong enough.”

  “And what did you discover?”

  “That when it comes to resisting you I’m very, very weak. Touch me, Max. Make me feel alive.”

  His mouth devoured hers in a kiss meant to show them both that they were still living—still breathing. Her hands clasped around his neck and he encircled her in his arms, his hands grasping just beneath her rear so he could pull her against his raging arousal. It was a slow dance of lips and tongue, a seduction as they circled towards the back of her apartment to the bedrooms. She was almost dizzy with the need to have him fill her, to make her feel whole.

  “Which door?” he asked.

  “The one at the very end. God, Max, kiss me again. I never get tired of it.”

  Her room was dark and cool and they moved into the shadows. She hardly felt his fingers working at the buttons on her shirt. She only knew he couldn’t stop kissing her or she’d die. Cool air hit her skin as her shirt slithered from her shoulders to the floor, and she found the edge of the T-shirt he wore, her hands pushing beneath it and splaying across his taut abdomen. He was so hard, his skin so hot.

  Their lips barely separated as she pulled the shirt from his body, and her hands immediately went to the buckle of his belt. She wanted him naked, wanted them both naked so she could feel how perfectly they fit together. And then all of a sudden her wish came true and she grasped the iron rod of his cock in her hand even as her pussy wept for it.

  His hands clasped at her rear and he lifted her onto the bed, coming down over her so the fine hairs on his chest tickled across her skin. He pressed a knee between her thighs and she opened for him gladly, her nails biting into his shoulders in anticipation.

  “Don’t ever take a chance like that again,” he said, kissing his way down her neck to her breasts. “Not for me. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you.”

  If she’d been capable of speech she would have made him promise the same thing. She knew they had no future together. Knew that he’d eventually go on with his life and settle down to happiness. But she knew she’d feel the exact same way if anything ever happened to him, whether he belonged to someone else or not.

  “Please, Max—” she begged, her fingers fisting in his hair as his lips trailed lower. “Lick me. Take me in your mouth.”

  She felt the vibrations of his growl across her clit and she almost came then and there, but then his face was between her thighs and he was pushing her legs up so her knees rested on her chest.

  “God, look at you.” His breath feathered across her folds and she creamed more at the eroticism of how she was displayed. “You’re so wet for me.”

  His tongue licked along the seam of her pussy and she almost came off the bed, the sensation was so great.

  “And you taste like the sweetest sugar. I’m going to eat you all up.”

  And then he delivered his promise and his mouth was everywhere at once—his tongue spearing inside of her and then licking up to swirl around the sensitive bundle of nerves in her clit. He’d flick his tongue rapidly, only to slow to long, easy licks just as she felt the beginning spasms of release.
It was torture and pleasure all rolled into one.

  His fingers probed, gathering her juices and spreading them around before he finally slid two fingers inside her vagina. Her muscles spasmed and he kept his tongue swirling and licking just to the side of her clit, holding her on the precipice of satisfaction.

  “Max!” she screamed.

  And then his fingers and his tongue moved in tandem and she was flying high as the first orgasm ripped through her body. She shuddered against him and whimpered as he went back to the long, slow licks. Perspiration gathered on her body as she felt the heat start to rise inside of her once more. Then the heat turned to something darker, more dangerous, as his fingers left her pussy and moved down to the forbidden rosebud of her anus.

  She whimpered as his finger circled the entrance, lubricating it with her own juices, and she sucked in a startled breath as one finger penetrated. The nerves inside sizzled at the new touch, and her clit throbbed as he worked himself farther inside, only to pull out and gather more lubrication before pushing in again. And then a second finger was added and she was panting with the vicious need that had built up so quickly.

  Two fingers scissored inside of her, stretching her as his mouth found her clit again. Guttural cries tore from her throat at the unfamiliar sensation. She didn’t know what was happening to her body, only that she was holding on to the ledge and in danger of falling into the abyss.

  “I’m going to fuck you here,” he said. “I’m going to make you mine in every way possible. Turn over for me, baby.”

  Jade moaned as he withdrew his fingers and she was able to relax her legs. He sat on his knees in the middle of the bed, his cock rigid and standing straight out from his body. The flared head of the crown was flushed dark red and she could see the moisture gathered at the tip. She licked her lips at the sight and watched as his cock flexed.

  She turned over on her hands and knees, the anticipation building inside of her. His hand pressed at the middle of her back and she went down on her elbows so her face was pressed against the cool sheets and her ass was in the air.

  His hand clamped against her hip and he moved in behind her, holding his dick with his other hand, and she tried to relax as he dragged his cock through the seam of her pussy, smearing her juices on the head. He pushed inside of her a little before pulling out, and she couldn’t help but turn her head and look. Her cream glistened on his cock and every time he swiped it through her folds she trembled a little harder.

  “Stop teasing,” she said between gritted teeth.

  His laugh was harsh as he pressed the head of his cock again her rear passage. “I just want to make sure you’re ready for me, baby. Relax for me now. That’s it.”

  She did as he asked and sucked in a breath as he pushed into her. Pleasure and pain like she’d never experienced assaulted her sensitive nerve endings and her nails dug into the mattress.

  “So tight.” Max’s voice was strained, barely a whisper as he pushed past the tight ring of muscle. His hands tightened on her hips and she felt the sudden urge to move, to push back against him and find the relief she needed.

  “Do you have any idea how fucking sexy this looks? I love your ass.” He palmed the globes with each hand before spreading her cheeks wider. “Fucking beautiful. My cock stretching you, feeling you pulse around me.”

  He withdrew almost all the way out and then pushed in again, going a little farther this time. And he kept pushing and pushing until she felt his balls slap against the folds of her pussy. He groaned as he felt her contract around him, and he fell forward on his arms, his breath hot against her back.

  “I’m not going to last. It’s too good.”

  Jade couldn’t remember how to breath, much less speak, and when his hand curved around her stomach and then delved into the slick folds of her pussy she was completely lost to sensation. His hips began to thrust as his fingers moved faster. His grunts and her whimpers of pleasure drowned out the sound of flesh slapping against flesh as their movements became more hurried, more frantic.

  “More, more,” she begged. “Please, Max. I love you so much. Please.”

  Sweat dripped from his face onto her back and his fingers plunged into the depths of her pussy and that was all it took to send her over the edge. She screamed and exploded around his fingers and cock, and then he stiffened behind her and she felt the hot spurts of semen shooting into her ass.

  “Jade!” he shouted as every last drop was wrung from his body. He collapsed on top of her, and she was too weak to do more than lie there.

  “Tell me again,” he said against her neck. “I need to hear the words from you.”

  She stiffened as her mind began to clear, and she scrambled to move out from under him. He lifted himself off her and rolled to the side, and she curled into herself, cursing her lack of control.

  “Let’s start this again,” he said. “I love you. And I heard you say the words. I need to hear them again.”

  “It’s just something people say in the heat of the moment.” Her voice caught on a sob, and she wondered if she’d ever be able to forgive herself for lying to him.

  “Dammit, Jade. Give me something.” Frustration edged in his voice and he ran his fingers through his hair. “You can’t tell me you didn’t feel anything just now. That what just happened was only sex.”

  “You don’t understand!” she cried out, pulling one of the pillows in front of her and hugging it close.

  “Then explain it to me! You give your body to me in ways you’ve never given it to anyone before. You trust me with your life, but not your heart. And you say you love me when I’m buried deep inside you, but you can’t look me in the eye and say it now. So yes, explain what the hell the problem is. Explain why I can’t get down on my knees and ask you to spend the rest of your life with me. To grow old with me and have children with me.”

  “I can’t have children!” she screamed and then clamped a hand over her mouth as a sob escaped.

  Every last bit of air deflated from his lungs as the words penetrated. It felt as if the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. Sound ceased to exist—just an empty void as the blood rushed to his ears.

  Reality came crashing back as her gut-wrenching cries broke through the fog surrounding his brain. She curled up in a ball in the center of the bed and her body shook with tremors. To see a woman so strong break down was almost more than he could bear, and he went to her, gathering her in his arms and rocking her back and forth like a child.

  “I’m so sorry, baby,” he whispered through her sobs. “I’m sorry.” He waited until she was quiet in his arms. Until only the occasional tremor shook her body. “I won’t ask you if you’re sure, even though I didn’t see any reports on it after your miscarriage.”

  She tried to move away from him, but he just shifted their positions so she sat cradled in his lap.

  She turned her head away from him when she answered. “I had the doctor leave it out of the written report so I could go back on duty. The damage was too severe, they said. The bleeding too bad. So they had no choice but to give me a hysterectomy or I would have bled to death.”

  Max let out a slow breath and held her tighter. “I wish you would have told me. You didn’t have to go through that alone.”

  “Maybe I just wanted to delay the inevitable,” she said. “I couldn’t tell you. At first because I was ashamed of the way I broke down when you told me about Donovan. I’d never lost control like that before.” She sucked in a shuddering breath. “And then I lost—I lost the baby, and it was my fault because I lost control.”

  “No—” His heart ached for her, but she had to know she was wrong. “You can’t blame yourself for what happened. It’s just as easy to blame myself for the way I told you. But it wasn’t anyone’s fault, baby.”

  “Then time started passing and every day it seemed like that day faded a little bit more in my memories. And then you were there and I started seeing you as something I never had before. Only I wanted you too ba
d to tell you the truth.” Her voice seemed to steady as she explained, and the light finally began to dawn. “You were right. I think I thought you’d be safe. That you could satisfy my body but not touch my heart because I didn’t believe I’d ever be able to love again. And I didn’t think that you could ever love me. I’ve watched the women go in and out of your life over the years, and I thought I’d be one of them. But then I realized that I was lying to myself and I loved you more than I thought I would ever be capable of loving.”

  “God, Jade—” He kissed her brow and pulled her closer. “You have no idea how much I needed to hear you say that. I love you too, sweetheart. I loved you when you belonged to someone else, and I love you even more now. And there will be no more women in and out of my life. In fact, there hasn’t been any woman but you in my bed for more than two years. You’re it for me.”

  “That’s what I was afraid of,” she said. The sadness in her voice had him lifting her chin with his finger so he could look into her eyes. “You deserve so much more than what I can give you, Max. You deserve to have a woman who’s whole, so you can get down on your knees and ask her to spend her life with you. To have children with you.”

  “You’re going to piss me off, love,” he said, rubbing his thumb along her bottom lip. “Do you think you telling me you can’t have children is going to make me stop loving you? Let me ask you something,” he said before she could answer. “When you were stuck inside that orphanage, did you dream of a couple like us coming in to take you home? Do you think there’s not someone exactly like you waiting for us right now? Or that there won’t be two or five or ten years from now? You make me whole, Jade. Just you. Not anything else. As long as I have you then everything else will happen as it should.”

  “God, you make it sound so simple.” She scrubbed her hands over her face, wiping away the tears.

  “Because it is simple. Marry me. Love me. And let me love you back. Nothing else matters.”